When you're pregnant with your second everyone talks about how hard it will be for your first to adjust to not being the only one anymore. There's loads of advice on managing things so they don't feel rejected or left out and people tell you to still make one-on-one time with them so they remember they're important.
What no one tells you is how strong the mum guilt is for your second. They arrive and they immediately have to fit in to a family unit that already exists. They never get the chance to be the number one priority. They spend more time than they should in the car seat or buggy being dragged around to activities that have no relevance to them so that the older one still gets to do fun things. Their feeds get interrupted because the toddler needs a snack/a nappy change/is having a meltdown over something. They get put down and left to grizzle way more often than their older sibling because you just don't have enough arms to manage everything.
That's why I'm so grateful for the two days a week that Skye is at nursery so I can focus just on Max. Then he gets to spend as much time as he wants in my arms, which is definitely his favourite place to be! He's a Mummy's boy for sure.
These are also the days where he gets to be on the floor on his playmat without being at risk of being sat on or trampled by Skye. I get to play with him and his toys. I can read stories just to him. We go for walks in the fresh air that aren't just to the park so he can wait while I help his sister on the swings and slide.
When he gets a bit older I'm looking forward to taking him to the odd class where he'll get to do sensory and messy play, or bang drums and make noise and for it to be all about him just for a little bit.
He's so lucky to have such an awesome big sister and I know they'll have the best fun playing together as they grow up - he already loves watching her from his bouncer chair and he has so many smiles for her. But I do love the fact that I do get to give him some one-on-one time and focus on him too.
And as long as they both know how loved they are, then I guess that's all that matters too.