We're a month in to the new normal. Both Kevin and I are back at work. Skye is in nursery 2 days a week with my mum taking care of her for the other 2 days around my day off.
To be honest, things are actually going pretty smoothly in terms of all the pieces of the puzzle working together and Skye is coping with everything really well.
But the routine is punishing. I'm mostly on early starts, which means getting up at 3:45am in the morning to be at my desk for 5am. On nursery days I finish at 3pm, head home to pick Skye up in time for a bit of play and time together before bath and bed. Then I have a couple of hours to eat dinner and attempt to wind down until I have to go through my own bedtime routine before the whole thing starts again.
On the days she's with my mum I come home and make tea for Skye and then do all the other things. Housework happens in the evenings too, somehow. The major downside is that time for Kevin and I is rare, and even when we do get it we're both so tired that our conversations don't often seem to go beyond the functional.
It's hard to stay healthy too. I don't have any time for running at the moment, which is a shame. Although even if I did I'm not sure I'd have the energy to go. I feel like I haven't been fully well for weeks. Right now I'm on antibiotics for a sinus infection after a cold I couldn't shift. It's hard to eat well and sleep well when you're doing full time shift work and have a 1 year old.
Thankfully Skye is mostly sleeping ok at the moment. It's still a bit up and down, especially because she's been ill in the last week but on the whole it's been ok. Last night was not good. She was up at 1:25am and it took 2 hours to get her to settle again. By then it was 3:30am and there was no point me even going back to bed. So I got up for the day at 1:30 in the morning - total madness!
On days like today being a working mum sucks!
But mostly, although the days are long they are good. I'm enjoying being back at work even though it's hard being away from Skye. It's also nice to realise I'm still relatively competent at it. And the fact that it's shift work means I get a day off a week to spend with her.
That's why Thursdays are my favourite day. It's when we have all of our adventures. I don't always have as much energy as I wish I did and sometimes we watch a bit of extra TV just so I can have a few quiet minutes but I don't think she notices. What she knows is that she gets to spend her days playing, having fun, eating nice food and being looked after by people that really love and care for her, so I'm pretty sure she's doing ok.
And so we continue to make it work, even on the days when it doesn't, and hope that by doing our best we're doing the best for her.